Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

8,000,000 COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE * TRANSLATED INTO MORE THAN 40 LANGUAGES

Most of us were never taught what to say when a conversation gets hard.

A disagreement with your partner that keeps circling back. A tense meeting at work. A teenager who has stopped telling you anything. In moments like these, most of us fall back on the same patterns -- defending, blaming, going quiet -- and the relationship pays the price.

In this classic guide, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., shows there is another way. Nonviolent Communication is a practical approach to effective communication that helps you express yourself honestly, listen with empathy, strengthen your relationships, and approach conflict with understanding.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Many of our most familiar communication habits -- judging, blaming, criticizing, going on the defensive, reacting in anger, deciding who is ""right"" or ""wrong"" -- create hurt and distance. Nonviolent Communication offers a different approach, built on awareness, honest expression, empathy, and understanding.

Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things:

* Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity

* Language: understanding how words contribute to connection or distance

* Communication: knowing how to ask for what we want, how to practice active listening, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all

* Means of influence: sharing "power with others" rather than using "power over others"

Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things:

* Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection

* Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships

* Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit

This is a practical framework, not a theory. Rather than handing you scripts, it helps you recognize what is happening beneath the words and respond with greater understanding.

What you will learn:

* How to handle difficult conversations without escalating into argument or shutting down

* Conflict resolution skills you can use at home, at work, and in your community

* How to listen so people feel heard -- and how to hear the need behind someone''s anger or criticism

* How to say what matters to you clearly and honestly, without blame, judgment, or demand

* How to respond to hostility and defensiveness with empathy, for others and for yourself

* How to build healthier relationships with partners, children, parents, colleagues, and friends

At work as well as at home:

Whether you are leading a team at work or working through a disagreement with a family member, the ability to hear what matters to someone else and say clearly what matters to you changes the conversation. These are professional communication skills as much as personal ones, and they apply across workplace discussions, team relationships, and the conversations most people would rather avoid.

Who this book is for:

This is for you if you want stronger interpersonal skills and healthier relationships. Couples and families working through recurring conflict. Managers, teachers, healthcare workers, mediators, and anyone whose work depends on being understood. Whether you want better communication, stronger relationships, or practical tools for conflict resolution, this book offers a framework you can apply at home, at work, and in everyday life.

Marshall Rosenberg developed the Nonviolent Communication process over four decades of work in more than sixty countries, from schools and prisons to workplaces and regions torn by war. This is the book that started it all, and it remains standard reading for organizations, counselors, and communities around the world.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life offers practical tools for expressing yourself honestly, listening with empathy, and creating greater understanding in the conversations that matter most.

Table of contents provided by Syndetics

• Foreword (p. xiii)
• Acknowledgments (p. xvii)
• 1 Giving From the Heart (p. 1)
• Introduction (p. 1)
• A Way to Focus Attention (p. 3)
• The NVC Process (p. 6)
• Applying NVC in Our Lives and the World (p. 8)
• NVC in Action: "Murderer, Assassin, Child-Killer!" (p. 13)
• 2 Communication That Blocks Compassion (p. 15)
• Moralistic Judgments (p. 15)
• Making Comparisons (p. 18)
• Denial of Responsibility (p. 19)
• Other Forms of Life-Alienating Communication (p. 22)
• 3 Observing Without Evaluating (p. 25)
• The Highest Form of Human Intelligence (p. 28)
• Distinguishing Observations From Evaluations (p. 30)
• NVC in Action: "The Most Arrogant Speaker We've Ever Had!" (p. 32)
• Exercise 1 Observation or Evaluation? (p. 34)
• 4 Identifying and Expressing Feelings (p. 37)
• The Heavy Cost of Unexpressed Feelings (p. 37)
• Feelings versus Non-Feelings (p. 41)
• Building a Vocabulary for Feelings (p. 43)
• Exercise 2 Expressing Feelings (p. 47)
• 5 Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings (p. 49)
• Hearing a Negative Message: Four Options (p. 49)
• The Needs at the Roots of Feelings (p. 52)
• The Pain of Expressing Our Needs versus the Pain of Not Expressing Our Needs (p. 55)
• From Emotional Slavery to Emotional Liberation (p. 57)
• NVC in Action: "Bring Back the Stigma of Illegitimacy!" (p. 61)
• Exercise 3 Acknowledging Needs (p. 65)
• 6 Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life (p. 67)
• Using Positive Action Language (p. 67)
• Making Requests Consciously (p. 72)
• Asking for a Reflection (p. 74)
• Requesting Honesty (p. 76)
• Making Requests of a Group (p. 77)
• Requests versus Demands (p. 79)
• Denning Our Objective When Making Requests (p. 81)
• NVC in Action: Sharing Fears About a Best Friend's Smoking (p. 85)
• Exercise 4 Expressing Requests (p. 88)
• 7 Receiving Empathically (p. 91)
• Presence: Don't Just Do Something, Stand There (p. 91)
• Listening for Feelings and Needs (p. 94)
• Paraphrasing (p. 96)
• Sustaining Empathy (p. 101)
• When Pain Blocks Our Ability to Empathize (p. 103)
• NVC in Action: A Wife Connects With Her Dying Husband (p. 105)
• Exercise 5 Receiving Empathically versus Non-Empathically (p. 109)
• 8 The Power of Empathy (p. 113)
• Empathy That Heals (p. 113)
• Empathy and the Ability to Be Vulnerable (p. 115)
• Using Empathy to Defuse Danger (p. 117)
• Empathy in Hearing Someone's "No!" (p. 120)
• Empathy to Revive a Lifeless Conversation (p. 121)
• Empathy for Silence (p. 123)
• 9 Connecting Compassionately With Ourselves (p. 129)
• Remembering the Specialness of What We Are (p. 129)
• Evaluating Ourselves When We've Been Less Than Perfect (p. 130)
• Translating Self-Judgments and Inner Demands (p. 132)
• NVC Mourning (p. 132)
• Self-Forgiveness (p. 133)
• The Lesson of the Polka-Dotted Suit (p. 134)
• Don't Do Anything That Isn't Play! (p. 135)
• Translating "Have to" to "Choose to" (p. 136)
• Cultivating Awareness of the Energy Behind Our Actions (p. 138)
• 10 Expressing Anger Fully (p. 141)
• Distinguishing Stimulus From Cause (p. 141)
• All Anger Has a Life-Serving Core (p. 144)
• Stimulus versus Cause: Practical Implications (p. 145)
• Four Steps to Expressing Anger (p. 148)
• Offering Empathy First (p. 149)
• Taking Our Time (p. 152)
• NVC in Action: Parent and Teen Dialogue A Life-Threatening Issue (p. 154)
• 11 Conflict Resolution and Mediation (p. 161)
• Human Connection (p. 161)
• NVC Conflict Resolution versus Traditional Mediation (p. 162)
• NVC Conflict Resolution Steps-A Quick Overview (p. 164)
• On Needs, Strategies, and Analysis (p. 165)
• Empathy to Ease the Pain That Prevents Hearing (p. 170)
• Using Present and Positive Action Language to Resolve Conflict (p. 172)
• Using Action Verbs (p. 173)
• Translating "No" (p. 174)
• NVC and the Mediator Role (p. 175)
• When People Say "No" to Meeting Face to Face (p. 181)
• Informal Mediation: Sticking Our Nose in Other People's Business (p. 182)
• 12 The Protective Use of Force (p. 185)
• When the Use of Force Is Unavoidable (p. 185)
• The Thinking Behind the Use of Force (p. 185)
• Types of Punitive Force (p. 186)
• The Costs of Punishment (p. 188)
• Two Questions That Reveal the Limitations of Punishment (p. 189)
• The Protective Use of Force in Schools (p. 190)
• 13 Liberating Ourselves and Counseling Others (p. 195)
• Freeing Ourselves From Old Programming (p. 195)
• Resolving Internal Conflicts (p. 196)
• Caring for Our Inner Environment (p. 197)
• Replacing Diagnosis With NVC (p. 199)
• NVC in Action: Dealing With Resentment and Self-Judgment (p. 204)
• 14 Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication (p. 209)
• The Intention Behind the Appreciation (p. 209)
• The Three Components of Appreciation (p. 210)
• Receiving Appreciation (p. 212)
• The Hunger for Appreciation (p. 214)
• Overcoming the Reluctance to Express Appreciation (p. 215)
• Epilogue (p. 217)
• Bibliography (p. 220)
• Index (p. 223)
• The Four-Part Nonviolent Communication Process (p. 231)
• Some Basic Feelings and Needs We All Have (p. 232)
• About Nonviolent Communication (p. 233)
• About PuddleDancer Press (p. 234)
• About the Center for Nonviolent Communication (p. 235)
• Trade Books From PuddleDancer Press (p. 236)
• Trade Booklets From PuddleDancer Press (p. 242)
• About the Author (p. 244)

Author notes provided by Syndetics

Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD (1934-2015) founded and was for many years the Director of Educational Services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication, an international peacemaking organization. During his life he authored fifteen books, including the bestselling Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (PuddleDancer Press), which has sold more than one million copies worldwide and has been translated into more than 30 languages, with more translations in the works.

Dr. Rosenberg has received a number of awards for his Nonviolent Communication work including:
2014: Champion of Forgiveness Award from the Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance
2006: Bridge of Peace Nonviolence Award from the Global Village Foundation
2005: Light of God Expressing in Society Award from the Association of Unity Churches
2004: Religious Science International Golden Works Award
2004: International Peace Prayer Day Man of Peace Award by the Healthy, Happy Holy (3HO) Organization
2002: Princess Anne of England and Chief of Police Restorative Justice Appreciation Award
2000: International Listening Association Listener of the Year Award

Dr. Rosenberg first used the NVC process in federally funded school integration projects to provide mediation and communication skills training during the 1960s. The Center for Nonviolent Communication, which he founded in 1984, now has hundreds of certified NVC trainers and supporters teaching NVC in more than sixty countries around the globe. A sought-after presenter, peacemaker and visionary leader, Dr. Rosenberg led NVC workshops and international intensive trainings for tens of thousands of people in over 60 countries across the world and provided training and initiated peace programs in many war-torn areas including Nigeria, Sierra Leone, and the Middle East.

He worked tirelessly with educators, managers, health care providers, lawyers, military officers, prisoners, police and prison officials, government officials, and individual families. With guitar and puppets in hand and a spiritual energy that filled a room, Marshall showed us how to create a more peaceful and satisfying world.